Wednesday, November 12, 2008 @ 4:45 AM
Name above all names, worthy of all praise.
Yes I am back from church camp, and I am going to tell you that I was so foolish to have not
looked forward to it. The 7-9 Nov were the 3 most life-changing days I experienced with my Lord,
the days where I left all my wordly possessions ( handphone, ipod, laptop, msn ) aside just to come away and spend some time with him. God has been working in me for the past 3 days, through those tears of sorrow and happiness... It's when the mask of yours that you've been wearing for so long gets taken down, only then, do you feel the raw intensity of misery, anguish, agony, affliction, heartache and whatever just break away. I'm not good with words and haha my proficiency in language aint as good as some people, but I know in my heart that the Lord has left me;
Breathless. Complete . Loved . Stirred .these 4 words just describe my relationship with him now. I feel his strong presence burning
so strong within me, it's like overwhelming my soul (:
It's like suddenly all else dont matter, except HIM AND HIM ALONE, you dont need that extra someone just to back you up when you need some affirmation, because you HAVE HIM, AND AS LONG AS I CLING ONTO HIM, HE WILL BE THERE FOR ME. To guide me, at every step of the way... And I have a new role model, and that would be the Pope, you know why?
The Pope is an amazing man, he's God's chosen disciple in this century, and why I admire him is because he is able to reach out and communicate with both the rich and the poor's heart.
How many of us have that ability?
Earlier this day, I was out with my friends and I was already planning to leave early for mass,
but the rain came pouring down, causing a major jam, I took a cab to church and during that whole journey, it just nerve-wrecked my brain. It was 15 mins to 6.30 and I was still stuck in a heavy congested jam in the middle of Braddell and Serangoon, the meter on the taxi was jumping sky high at every minute and I was panicking like crazy. I just felt that strong need to attend mass and even if it meant that when I reach, Father says Amen. And so, I prayed really fervently that the traffic would just quicken it's speed and hopefully I'll reach there in time.
Although this never happened, I spent my 30mins with God in the taxi. The uncle who was driving was God! (: Bizarre I know! But it really felt like God was with me striking up a conversation about my day and why I was so frantic. The Lord eventually still has his ways of calming my heart down. I didn't attend mass because I was too late, but I attended D.O, which stands for Divine Office. Go google it, I am not going to explain it here, be an inquisitive person.
Anyways, I am going to officially commit myself to daily mass and Divine Office from today,
12 November 2008, 9.20pm, with all my heart and all my faith, and I want you who's reading this to witness this for me. I love you Lord.
I am going to be a part of the Lectors' Ministry too (: this is really making me spiritually complete.
okay let me sidetrack for a while, you know my mum feels weird to have me home after the camp, because she says that my behaviour sorta freaks her out a bit, in a good way though.
As last night, she was doing her ever-so-duh duties as a mother to nag at my dirty messy room expecting me to either give an uninterested look or procrastinate. But I didn't do any of that!
I smiled and said okay (: Got to work today, cleaned up half of room ,emptied all my shelves, that I shocked her when she came home! harhar, this are her exact words:
" Estelle, as much as I love how much you've listened to my advices, your enthusiasm is freaking me out a bit, first, you are so simple , you dont ask me for pocket money because you say you find no need in having any, then you clean up your room and bought all the things I wanted from the grocer. Are you okay?"
HAHA, hey have I been that bad before? Actually no I havent, it's just that I understand things from a better perspective now because I see God in everyone! :D so if I love God, I shouldnt fight with him (mummy) or ask him for money -.- which kinda haha.
alright, I dont think I wanna share any more of the heartfelt encounters with God here.
goodnight peeps.
You're Indescribable, uncontainable.
