We all know that in life, nothing is ever permanent. One thing that’s ever constant is change. On good days, there will be opportunities wherein you can add something to enrich your life. And on bad days, there is that chance to experience heartbreak over certain losses.
For every individual, there are different levels of intensity on how they deal with a loss. It wouldn’t automatically mean the end of the world or that it’s a signal of the beginning of the dark ages. Sometimes, it’s just as simple as a bump on the road but for others, it can mean — heartbreak.
What are the kinds of losses that can trigger such an emotion? It can make you think, actually. Is it limited to relationships alone?
It can be a loss of a father even when he’s still alive, a journal that has records of your dreams, your past and your hopes for the future, a project that you risked a whole lot of yourself just to keep it afloat, or, yes, what everyone would associate this post with, a partner, whom you’ve offered your heart, which you laboured to keep safe the past six years, to with few questions asked.
Life is not only about what’s fair. I reckon it’s all about what you take from it — how you live it. I’ve always put more weight on the present over anything else. The past teaches me. The future inspires me but it’s the present, which matters because that’s where I am.
Dealing with losses and sadness, can be really difficult, now that I've truly experienced the heart of the situation itself. Having bubbly, naughty but yet benevolent Ezekial, suffer from that much pain can sometimes leave the people around him drown in immerse heartache, as you see the poor child lying in the ICU ward, in a comatose but constantly weeping through those eyes because of the pain inflicted on his brain, and then you start to put yourself into that situation, the impact of knocking into a tree and thereafter the concrete lamp-post. What did this child have to do in order to suffer from these critical affliction of the brain. It's the brain we're talking about here, there's no transplant for this organ..... Sometimes we all wished that we could perhaps take as much pain away from him as possible, but how?
This Chinese New Year's filled with so many negative emotions, fustration, irritation, anger, heartache, disappointment, worry, last one: sorrow.
Every year my mum's side of the family would gather from wherever they are in the world to Malaysia to celebrate the birth of a wonderful woman, my grandmother who's birthday also falls on the 26 January, imagine the whole festive spirit bubbling with excitement and joy, children laughing, adults chattering, but mainly it is the "Sisters" spirit and character that brings out the family. My mum has 9 sisters and 4 brother, bringing a total of 13 siblings, what a big family. Being apart most of the time, I guess this is the only period where they can all gather and catch up, do stuff together.... So it is an unfailing tradition to go back to the heart of the family in Kukup, Malaysia, where all my aunties, uncles and mum grew up... This year was definitely not an exception, but unfortunately little did we expect that things would turn out that way. Aunty Lillian, Ezekial and Uncle Philip were driving down from Kukup to JB because we were celebrating Grandma's birthday mass there. As they were driving, there was a car that was going to come head-on with them so hopefully in seeking a solution, Aunty tried to avoid the crash but in the end she drove her whole family towards the tree, banging down a small Kencil car, causing it to overturn. But, prior to that the dashboard of the car's small, so Ezekial's head on banged straight on by the concrete lamp-post causing extensive blood clot and tilting of the brain. Aunty lost a lot of blood, whereas Uncle just injured his neck, traumatised.
They were all sent immediately to Pontian Hospital, of which in the end only Aunty Lillian remained there, Ezee needed more professional medic care so initially they wanted to bring him out to get treated in Singapore but it was all too late, so they settled for JB's General Hospital. 4 Hours op to tilt the brain back to it's position as well as the blood clot. After the Op, he was put into coma, but I guess the pain must have been excruciating, that he teared regularly and we thought that it was just some leakage from the drip... Possible outcomes of this child? Not exactly optimistic. But God will strengthen him, for he is Ezekial, which is the meaning of his name.
Having all these happening comes upon the sudden death of Aunty Agnes, Grandma's sister. I dont think I would want to elaborate any further, but I think being 85, I don't think I would be able to take it if I knew that my son, daughter-in-law and grandson got into a severe accident and my sister died. What a birthday gift indeed.
It is, a lot for things to be happening at the same time, I'm not ready for school
but thanks guys for the lovely and encouraging messages (:
keep praying....
But I believe that it’s through God’s mercy will I find the reason behind all of it. I’m trusting His heart that He knows what’s best for me. He has given me that gift, which I lost. I reckon, there’ll come a day when He’ll give me one more opportunity. No ifs nor buts. Just happily ever after.
