E is for Estelle, who says Hi

Tuesday, February 3, 2009 @ 2:07 AM

I've moved.

find me at:

www.uhululu.wordpress.com

(:

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 @ 6:45 AM

We all know that in life, nothing is ever permanent. One thing that’s ever constant is change. On good days, there will be opportunities wherein you can add something to enrich your life. And on bad days, there is that chance to experience heartbreak over certain losses.

For every individual, there are different levels of intensity on how they deal with a loss. It wouldn’t automatically mean the end of the world or that it’s a signal of the beginning of the dark ages. Sometimes, it’s just as simple as a bump on the road but for others, it can mean — heartbreak.

What are the kinds of losses that can trigger such an emotion? It can make you think, actually. Is it limited to relationships alone?

It can be a loss of a father even when he’s still alive, a journal that has records of your dreams, your past and your hopes for the future, a project that you risked a whole lot of yourself just to keep it afloat, or, yes, what everyone would associate this post with, a partner, whom you’ve offered your heart, which you laboured to keep safe the past six years, to with few questions asked.

Life is not only about what’s fair. I reckon it’s all about what you take from it — how you live it. I’ve always put more weight on the present over anything else. The past teaches me. The future inspires me but it’s the present, which matters because that’s where I am.

Dealing with losses and sadness, can be really difficult, now that I've truly experienced the heart of the situation itself. Having bubbly, naughty but yet benevolent Ezekial, suffer from that much pain can sometimes leave the people around him drown in immerse heartache, as you see the poor child lying in the ICU ward, in a comatose but constantly weeping through those eyes because of the pain inflicted on his brain, and then you start to put yourself into that situation, the impact of knocking into a tree and thereafter the concrete lamp-post. What did this child have to do in order to suffer from these critical affliction of the brain. It's the brain we're talking about here, there's no transplant for this organ..... Sometimes we all wished that we could perhaps take as much pain away from him as possible, but how?

This Chinese New Year's filled with so many negative emotions, fustration, irritation, anger, heartache, disappointment, worry, last one: sorrow.

Every year my mum's side of the family would gather from wherever they are in the world to Malaysia to celebrate the birth of a wonderful woman, my grandmother who's birthday also falls on the 26 January, imagine the whole festive spirit bubbling with excitement and joy, children laughing, adults chattering, but mainly it is the "Sisters" spirit and character that brings out the family. My mum has 9 sisters and 4 brother, bringing a total of 13 siblings, what a big family. Being apart most of the time, I guess this is the only period where they can all gather and catch up, do stuff together.... So it is an unfailing tradition to go back to the heart of the family in Kukup, Malaysia, where all my aunties, uncles and mum grew up... This year was definitely not an exception, but unfortunately little did we expect that things would turn out that way. Aunty Lillian, Ezekial and Uncle Philip were driving down from Kukup to JB because we were celebrating Grandma's birthday mass there. As they were driving, there was a car that was going to come head-on with them so hopefully in seeking a solution, Aunty tried to avoid the crash but in the end she drove her whole family towards the tree, banging down a small Kencil car, causing it to overturn. But, prior to that the dashboard of the car's small, so Ezekial's head on banged straight on by the concrete lamp-post causing extensive blood clot and tilting of the brain. Aunty lost a lot of blood, whereas Uncle just injured his neck, traumatised.

They were all sent immediately to Pontian Hospital, of which in the end only Aunty Lillian remained there, Ezee needed more professional medic care so initially they wanted to bring him out to get treated in Singapore but it was all too late, so they settled for JB's General Hospital. 4 Hours op to tilt the brain back to it's position as well as the blood clot. After the Op, he was put into coma, but I guess the pain must have been excruciating, that he teared regularly and we thought that it was just some leakage from the drip... Possible outcomes of this child? Not exactly optimistic. But God will strengthen him, for he is Ezekial, which is the meaning of his name.

Having all these happening comes upon the sudden death of Aunty Agnes, Grandma's sister. I dont think I would want to elaborate any further, but I think being 85, I don't think I would be able to take it if I knew that my son, daughter-in-law and grandson got into a severe accident and my sister died. What a birthday gift indeed.

It is, a lot for things to be happening at the same time, I'm not ready for school

but thanks guys for the lovely and encouraging messages (:

keep praying....

But I believe that it’s through God’s mercy will I find the reason behind all of it. I’m trusting His heart that He knows what’s best for me. He has given me that gift, which I lost. I reckon, there’ll come a day when He’ll give me one more opportunity. No ifs nor buts. Just happily ever after.

Monday, January 26, 2009 @ 2:00 AM

I have the sudden urge to write a lot, but I dont seem to wanna write here because my blogskin's so dull, and I can't change it, there's some weird error.
Happy Chinese New Year anyway.

Friday, January 16, 2009 @ 9:12 AM

Tip top, drip drop, bottles pop,
Lips lock, hips rock, don't stop,

this is catchy, i like HAHA.

Bottle Pop's been playing in my brain's iTunes all day long since warm ups, it's kinda nice in a weird way I dont know. I think that my blogskin is so dull now, I'm gonna change it soon (:
It's nice to have your friends living near you that's what I realised. Hee. Cause cause you know alex left her A Maths book in sch, so had to borrow mine and I got to go down and pass her the book, I know it's dumb luh but hey come on, it's quite fun ey! Sadly our rendevouz under the bridge didn't last for even 5 mins. Tomorrow's CCA Orientation and the same usual stuff happening again...
Earlier in the day, Marie passed me the SYF schedule, can faint. 49 trainings..............
OKAY NO COMPLAINS ------------------------------
i am blogging horribly nowadays, sorry.
there's so much happening, but I dont know where to start.

sunday's coming and as much as the others look forward to it, I'm sort of dreading it now.

and here's a shoutout to special Maryanneeeeee!

I MISS YOUR HUGS TOOOOO! ): I'm like some spastic nerd now can.
practically no life shit, how you'd call it. I missss youuuu threeeee!
Doesn't seem like there's time anymore to talk.
but! I LOVE YOU TOO.
this feels like some long-distance relationship, but more special luh of course.

:D

i feel like spacing this whole post out, should I? let me try.

BETTER NOT. - shut up estelle.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 @ 4:59 AM

hello friends of my blog, this is practically the only 10mins I get on the computer.
and the whole of last week I didn't think I came on for any longer than an hour (:
Resulting in overflooding of emails and being out of the cyber civilisation.
I've been really busy, actually since when am I not busy? HAHA okay whatever, anyways it's busi-er than usual, Sec 3 life is siao, almost every subject has homework to be completed and after you'd definitely want to like do notes and stuff. NO TIME.
6 days a week of SYF, eating my energy & mind out, leaving me with only disinteregrated bits of my brain left, I think I'm speaking neuronically now. Is there even such a word? HAHA.
okay, we're really pushing for Gold with Honours, Danceworks audition today and the seniors came back, so nice to have them back again! I miss Danceworks a bit though, but Year 2010, I'll be back. HAHA kidding luh, so dramatic. My head's like swelling like crazy now, Ms Teo has been stressing us all during English class, trying to let us know the importance of studying extremely hard and at every free period we have to revise our notes, because okay okay, you read carefully alright. Even a scholar who had gotten 6 points for O's doesn't know where to go. RJ,VJ, NJ's cut-off point's 4. And that is definitely not a scenario I'd wanna find myself in.
6 points, and she doesn't know where to go already.
This year's batch of Sec 4's in my school did EXTREMELY EXTREMELY well, they are all intellectual peeps I must say. 98 or something % distinction, and only 1.3% failed.
So the teachers are all pushing for even better results.
I want to skip this whole O Level's part of my life.
Anyways, we got the Yearbook for 2008 and it's nicer this year because all the faces are like enlarged and Dance got like super pretty cover pages of Dance Night & our formal CCA picture(:
Mother's coming home from Hong Kong tonight after 3 crappy days, life is horrible without her :D oh well, time to get dressed to fetch her!

~ i miss daily mass, but I'm gonna read for morning mass in school from next week onwards!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009 @ 8:11 AM

(:
it's the third day of school and I'm working my butt out already.
but my teachers are really awesome. Ms May Chong is crazy strict
and fantastic when she teaches, because she's so precise plus her intimidating
voice makes everyone listen in class.
today i made a stupid mistake, haha it is really dumb.

-2 x -2 = ?
HAHA, I said the answer was -4.
but I know that it's 4!! cause (-) x (-) = (+)
:)
tomorrow's an extremely long day, meetings lined up till 7!
god bless me.
i need energy.

catechism is starting in 4days.
hardcore syf training on sat for 5 hours, no break :/

Sunday, January 4, 2009 @ 7:53 AM

O.N.E FOUR!
What does it say?
ONE FOUR!
What does it say?
ONE FOUR!
wooohoooooo

I LOVE ONE FOUR 2009 (:
I LOVE YOU GUYS.
If only I was Sec 1 . and in your class.

HELLO EVERYONE! I am officially back from Sec 1 Orientation Camp, and it was sucha blast! I was made PSL along with Joan, Jia and Cheryl for Sec 1/4! This class was like so much more than we could ever ask for, they are like super compliant and really enthu about everything, even though at certain points they drove me crazy pissed HAHA because they broke open their classroom doors to take their bathing things when I told them to wait outside class AND THEY LEFT THEIR VALUABLES lying on the floor, with the doors open! HAHA, I was like seriously pissed to the max, hahahaha frightened them a bit by like lecturing them HAHAH SUPER FUN, okayokay that is being mean, But anyways, they are really a bunch of understanding and smart people, what a nice class to be in, if only I was still Sec 1, I think I would love to be in their class (: But you know, it makes me feel so old, like you're older by 2 years and your classroom is SKY HIGH , @ Level 4, while theirs is like at the ground level. Yeah, so I sort of missed my first day's lessons but I spent 15 mins with my new class, and it's basically comprised of 4 bunches of different classmates, there's 2/3, 2/4, 2/7, 2/8 all in one! HAHA the seating arrangement on the first day was typical, one class is one row. Oh oh I just remembered, Alex came for Campfire night too! With Sammi (: Cause her sister, Nicole is studying in my school and she's in Blue House! HAHA YAY!
I didn't think that I would blend myself into the schooling spirit that fast, but it seems that I'm all piped up to start studying hard again! I love my homework.
HAHA, I guess it's just the school spirit highness after Orientation camp.
There's school tomorrow, and morning run and learning journey with 1/4 again!
it's gonna be a long day.
and i lost my voice.
darling voice, please come back from your holiday I need you asap!

HERE'S A VIDEO DURING THEIR CLASS ITEM'S PREP!
and check out the Yellow shirt girl, Connie, she's super cute!